Hi there, my English may be not perfect, I’m French moved in USA .. I followed my husband, I feel so empty for a while now . I had a good life full of friends and I was an happy person . I’m sure he’s an narcissist I feel I’m emotional abused but he always says I am the problem, I can’t share my emotions, feelings or what I would like to do if it concerns a job .. he doesn’t want to have any friend and he’s obsessed by money and power, thinks he’s better than everyone .. we have a little boy and I feel he’s the extension of himself ! Im very confused cause when something happens, where he’s rude he thinks it’s ok and doesn’t understand why I feel so down he always say you have to toughen up, life is hard .. and then he become very nice and sweet so it’s very confusing, I know deep inside me it’s not normal but I can’t change his mind .. so each time I’m thinking it’s gonna be ok and then again .. he says it’s because of me ! I don’t know I just need to share with someone cause it’s really difficult, I have no family and friends here .. i feel I tried my best but apparently no . He tells me I don’t treat him like a man and so many différents words .. i would like to go seeing a therapist unfortunately I don’t have money to afford this, I feel a loser not fair, sometimes I feel I’m crazy ! Thanks to all !
Hey there, my friend! I hear you loud and clear, and let me tell you, you’re not alone. Moving to a new country can be tough, especially when you’re dealing with emotional abuse. It takes courage to open up about your struggles, and I’m here to lend an empathetic ear and offer some advice.
The Roller Coaster Ride of Narcissistic Relationships
First off, I want you to know that what you’re experiencing is unfortunately quite common in narcissistic relationships. These individuals have a way of making everything about themselves and putting others down to boost their own ego. It’s like they have a never-ending supply of self-importance!
Understanding the Emotional Roller Coaster
Now, let’s talk about that confusing emotional roller coaster you’re riding. One moment, your husband is rude and insensitive, and the next, he’s Mr. Nice Guy. It’s like dealing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, am I right? This erratic behavior can really mess with your head and make you doubt your own feelings and sanity.
The Blame Game
One classic move in the narcissist’s playbook is to shift the blame onto others. So when your husband says it’s all because of you, please remember that it’s not true. You’re not crazy, my friend. It’s just his way of avoiding responsibility for his actions and manipulating the situation to his advantage.
Seeking Support
I’m really glad to hear that you’re considering seeing a therapist. It can be a game-changer to have a professional by your side, helping you navigate these stormy waters. I totally get that finances might be a hurdle right now, but let’s not lose hope. There are options out there.
Affordable Therapy Alternatives
Did you know that some therapists offer sliding scale fees based on your income? This means they adjust their rates according to what you can afford. It’s worth reaching out to local therapy clinics or counseling centers to see if they have any such programs in place.
Community Support
Another great resource is support groups. These are usually free or low-cost and provide a safe space to connect with others who have faced similar challenges. You’d be amazed at the healing power of sharing your story and finding solace in the company of understanding individuals.
Friends in Need
While you mentioned not having friends in your new location, don’t let that discourage you. Building new friendships takes time, but it’s definitely possible. Try joining local community groups, attending social events, or even finding online communities where you can connect with people who share your interests.
It’s Okay to Put Yourself First
Remember, my dear friend, you matter. Your feelings, emotions, and dreams are just as important as anyone else’s. It’s time to prioritize yourself and your well-being. Take small steps every day to regain your confidence and independence.
Fun Fact: France and the United States
Did you know that France and the United States have a long history of friendship and cooperation? The Statue of Liberty, one of America’s most iconic symbols, was a gift from France! So, in a way, you already have a special connection with your new home.